ginandkerosene’s blog

I am moving into a new apartment.

My dog is dying. He's in pain.

I am conflicted.

I need a moment to clear my head.

I am overdue for a visit to a headstone.

Just like I promised I'm posting more pictures from Europe (I know, I know, you're so excited). I don't have too many pictures of France, but here are some of my favourites from England.

This is me standing where I'm sure The Beatles once stood.

This is us trying (and  failing) to recreate the cover for Abbey Road. My brother strepped on my shoe and I almost fell on my face. One of our more embarrassing tourism moments.

It was lots of fun. All of it except for the bus rides, we had mixed feelings on those.

And one last gratuitous photo I took just for your enjoyment.

So, I discovered that I totally love Europe. We started in Italy, then went to Switzerland, France and ended in England. I love the cultures and how laid back and friendly they were. Even the people in France were nice, which I was not expecting because we hear so many negative things about them here. I got addicted to extra strong coffee and thin crust pizza. I plan on staring to save my money now so that I can go back soon. If I'm lucky I'll live there one day. I took a ton of pictures, but I won't bore you with all of them, just a few. and if you want to see more let me know since I'll probably be setting up an account on flickr or photobucket soon. I don't have any pictures from France or England yet because I am having issues getting them off of my camera, but they'll be here soon. We even tried to emulate The Beatles on Abbey Road, it made my whole trip. Anyway, enough of that, I could ramble on all day. Suffice it to say that I had a blast and I recommend it to anyone who even has the slightest inkling of wanting to go.

This is the side of me sitting on our international flight to Rome. You can see my mom and brother in the back. Long flight, the one back home was better.

I'm terrified of water and absolutely cannot swim. This is my I'm-trying-to-smile-even-though-I'm-terrified-because-the -boat-keeps-rocking-so-much face. Venice is very cool though, and that's my new blown glass necklace that I'm wearing.

We found him in Switzerland. He's holding a tray of something, but I forgot what. Also, don't ask what I'm looking at because I don't know.

Like I said, you'll get to see our version of Abbey Road and all our fancy pants French pictures as soon as I can get them onto my computer.

To Europe: I love you and I will see you again, though not at quite the breakneck pace as last time. 

Tomorrow I leave for Europe. It will be my first time there and I plan to enjoy it as much as possible. Today I will pack and enjoy Utah because tomorrow we will be in Rome.

To the person that has stolen my sisters laundry and suitcase, please return it. She needed those things for our trip and they were not yours to take.

I was tired of other people. Today I decided to spend some quality time with me. I went to the movie theater. I forgot how good a large popcorn and cherry coke could be when you don't have to share it with anybody. I also remembered why I like scary movies so much. When you're alone you feel more vulnerable, all of a sudden the tightness in my chest was a warning, the butterflies in my stomach more active. It was the way scary movies are supposed to make you feel, the adrenaline pumping through you, your muscles tightening in anticipation, the hairs on your neck reacting to the music. It was the way I felt when I used to watch scary movies as a little kid. Afterwards I went out and got myself some ice cream and watched all the other people. I was quiet. I feel recharged and more aware of myself, like I went through my own little form of meditation. Today it was fabulous to be me.

What is it that we expect of age?

Now that I'm 21 I don't feel any different than 20. I don't think differently, don't feel differently, not like I thought I would. Yet, it's this remarkable right of passage, that with age comes wisdom, and the more years you have the more you know. I haven't found that to always be true either. Many people in their 20's and 30's have more world experience, more knowledge, more wisdom than others that I've met in their 30's and 40's. Age doesn't bring wealth either. There are 19 year olds starting huge companies and making millions of dollars, while every Walmart greeter is over 65 and only working because they can't afford to retire. Age doesn't bring happiness and hope. Young people may be many things, but as a group they believe that they can do whatever they set their minds to. As people get older they become world weary. They've been torn down too many times, and they start to see their limitations more clearly than ever before. They've seen more loss, more sadness. Things like that bring you crashing.

We condemn our society for being youth obsessed, but can we really blame them? Everyone wants to live in a perpetual state of bouyancy that can only be had through youth. After a certain age everything becomes a downward spiral, they call it 'over the hill' for a reason. Age is scary, it's bleak. It's only use is counting down how many days you have left, how many days before you die.

I want to be 20 again.

This is how I feel today.

 

Sidenote: My angel is finally done. I will post a pic as soon as it is completely healed.

You know, sometimes I think that there's no possible way that I could hate radical conservatives more, and then they go and do something that proves me all wrong. The Pill Kills 2008 protest, way to make a lie into a movement. Just in case you were wondering what the anti-choice's true motives were, you can now rest easy that your question has been answered. They really want to take away any choice a woman may have, even her right to privacy, and heaven forbid that she seek the truth, because they certainly don't support that there. The campaign basically says that birth control kills babies. They also claim that pro-choice groups like Planned Parenthood are lying to you to make a profit (because there's so much money to be made in low-to-no-cost healthcare).

If you think that they may have a point then by all means, please take a look at their website, especially their talking points. But be careful not to use any sort of logic at all, because then you wouldn't be able to believe or support any of it.

Just for fun, lets go over a few of my favorite points:

Q: Isn’t it better to be on the pill when you
are sexually active?
A: Better for whom? The pill does not prevent you from getting a sexually transmitted disease, it is not 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy and you could conceive a child who gets chemically aborted before the baby’s presence is even known to you. Moreover, sexual activity outside of marriage is seriously wrong.

Yes, lets convince young women that they are evil if the have sex before they get married, and then for good measure let's decrease the chances that if they do have sex that it'll involve protection.

Q: The Supreme Court has ruled that it’s my right to privacy — who do you think you are to say otherwise?
A: On June 7, 1965, the U.S. Supreme Court handed down the Griswold v. Connecticut decision. The Supreme Court justices first presumed that previous Court decisions dealing with a citizen’s right to liberty and security that prohibited invasion of one’s home and acquisition of evidence that might later be used to convict him of a crime also addressed privacy within marriage. In fact, the justices argued, “The concept of liberty is not so restricted… it embraces the right of marital privacy though that right is not mentioned explicitly [emphasis added] in the Constitution” and is based on “specific guarantees in the Bill of Rights [which] have penumbras, formed by emanations from those guarantees that help give them life and substance.”

This confusing language, which has no relationship whatsoever to what the Founding Fathers intended, gave married women permission to use the birth control pill. The Supreme Court literally created the “right to privacy” out of thin air.

We now know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that not only did the Supreme Court literally make up the right that you claim gives you permission to use birth control, but the most popular form of birth control, the pill, can kill innocent preborn children. If there is a chance that human beings are going to be murdered, I am going to do everything in my power to help prevent that from happening. If you knew there was a chance that someone might poison your neighbor, don’t you think you would try to notify your neighbor and do as much as you could to help save a life?

Excellent, now we should work on taking away our rights to freedom of press, religion and all those other things we enjoy, since they too were created out of thin air.

Q: Is the pill dangerous to my health?
A: Absolutely! There are links between the birth control pill and breast cancer, cervical cancer, deep vein thrombosis (DVT), infertility, birth defects, blood clots, pelvic inflammatory disease, ectopic pregnancy, shrinking of the womb, stroke, weight gain and much more.

No no no no no! First off, if the pill is taken for more than 5 subsequent years it actually reduces your chances of getting certain types of cancer. No, it will not make your uterus shrink or your ovaries dry up and fall out, or anything else that will inhibit your ability to produce happy, healthy babies in the future. There are so many things wrong with this that I was literally stunned speechless for a moment. But, I'm not a medical professional. To debunk these lies you should go see a neutral healthcare professional. Do not go to a church funded hospital or doctor's office.

See what happens when you rely on blind faith to keep your institution going? You end up spouting out radical misinformation because you expect it to go unchallenged and then you look like a dumbass when someone actually looks at it rationally.

Certain people in our lives are supposed to protect us. Sometimes they do a good job and other times they don't. But when those who are supposed to protect us are the ones that are deliberately hurting us, that's when tragedy occurs. Some people go through things that we could never imagine going through, even in our nightmares. We look at those people as though they are not real, because to think of them as real brings certain fears too close to home, much too close for us to continue to feel comfortable and safe.

To Elizabeth F., people will never be able to understand you, they will never know more about you than what the paper writes. But you know about you, and you know how amazingly strong you had to be to survive and keep your children alive. I know that nothing can happen to you that you can't handle after this, but I hope that you never have to test that theory either. I wish you luck in starting a new life. I hope that all people will be kind to you, not out of pity, but just because you will come into contact only with good people who have enough love and compassion in their hearts to share with you. I wish you all the best things and will keep you in my prayers.